Febuary 10, 2009
Ever think about life?
How is seems to catch similaries of things we normally would not consider.
When a poker game is played....the player can change his/her hand by asking the dealer for different cards. Notice I didn't say better. Sometimes different does not always mean better. But..You never give up hope on winning the game. It's just not natural. If you loose a hand in poker....you want it to be on YOUR terms by folding...turning in your cards..willingly. NOT by loosing to an opponent. Afterall...in poker, loosing a hand does not mean you loose the game.
Hi everyone. It's Debbie here, John's sister. John has gotten online to see if there are any updated comments, but still not up to posting, so you all are stuck with my grammar (should have paid more attention in english class...I'm soo sorry Ms Miller lol)
Once again...where to start??
The day after John's brachi-bronch, which he did really well , John decided to try to get an integrated PET/CT scan. This is a much more sophisticated evaluation to assist in determining just what we are dealing with on metastatic condition of this cancer.
Tuesday, last week, John got word that the cancer is in quite a bit more areas of his body than we had thought. As things happened that day, he wanted to go home to tell mom and the kids. So that's what we did. "Thinking the worst" and actually "Hearing the worst" is really two different things. You may think you are prepared. But...you're not.
John, on the other hand, I believe was prepared. He hugged family members while tears welled up in their eyes. My brother once said "it's not bravery when you have no choice." I've thought about that ever since and wondered if that really true. Regardless...what I saw in him that day was being the protective son....father...big brother... and friend. He only took a few hours to absorb the news himself before sharing it with family and friends and comforting them thru this process. Sharing hugs and smiles..and reassuring words. He showed no selfish thought of himself the entire time. So..you tell me?
Thursday, two days after this news, was to be the day that John was to be released from the rehab unit. He had worked hard for this day. Nothing was going to be in his way.
The following just goes to show that when the cards are delt...we really have no control of what they are...only how we choose to play the game.
Wednesday night he began a fever..by Thursday early morning he began coughing more severely. By 6am, JOHN DECIDED to be taken to the hospital instead of home.
Long story short: John has aspirated pneumonia. The left lung was pretty full of fluid. John..was not in great shape. Thursday, all day his blood pressure and oxygen concentration was a struggle to keep in safe levels. An o2 saturation should be in the 90% area..and his was struggling to stay above 80%. His blood pressure dropped 70/40.
He's a tough one tho.
With the help of 100% oxygen, about 4 different IV antibiotics, IV fluids to help break the fever, and great nursing staff, by Thursday Late night..he started to stablize with an o2 level of about 90%. Blood pressure came up to about 110/60.
Saturday came and his o2 was a steady 96% and they started to wean him from being on 100% to 50%. This means they are trying to get him closer to breathing room air again.
John was quite determined all day Friday and Saturday to not ruin the last 3 weeks of physical therapy and wanted to get up and go. "come on...take me for a walk" he'd say. Needless to say ..the Dr had more to say on that than either he or I. Chair sitting came first....(come on..you know the routine) John soon realized what a simple needs like oxygen was to his body. He was ready for bed in 5 minutes. But ..he was already planning the next chair visit.
Friday and Saturday were really good days for John. There was talk about going home on Monday. AMAZING.
It's now Monday, mid-morning, John still here at the hospital. He (WE) are determined to get him home today. There are alot ALOT of plans to be considered. John has decided to get some medical needs for home to assist with his care in hopes to keep him AWAY from the ER doors.
I've not mentioned too much yet about what happens now with the treatment of his cancer. That's because ...he hasn't made final decisions on everything. He's confident he will not do chemotherapy. The combination factors of the toll his body has taken since December and how advanced the cancer is at this time, John decided to make some memories with his family and friends. The radiation therapy is on hold for another day - but a decision will be made shortly, I'm sure.
Today, John , with assistance walked down the hallway (see Chad...he's working). This pneumonia may be another set back. But heck...haven't we had those before??
.........in his own way asked for a few different cards. Fortunately the cards were better..and he could play thru to win this hand.
The dealer..is the ONE upstairs...not the Doctors... HE is the only one calling the game.
So...we ask for different cards. And see what happens. It's not a gamble. It's life. It's living. Game's not over yet by golly. John's proving that with each set back he's had. He keeps coming back to the chair where the action is. Playing his cards....as he always has!
It's just what you do... Live.
Many hugs to all. Keep the comments and you updates coming.